i am J. DAKAR

Older

This time of year always make me even more introspective than normal: I celebrated my thirtieth birthday a few weeks ago, and the twelfth anniversary of my best friend Andrew’s death is this month.

The juxtaposition of these two events has always been motivation for me.

I used to wonder why I was still alive, particularly considering the point in my life when I wanted to end it, but I’ve since realized that the reason I’m still here is because there’s more work to be done.

Andrew’s death prompted me to cherish life and fully embrace it.

I was baptized a few days ago, which marked a milestone in my relationship with God and my commitment to His purpose. This has also prompted a deeper understanding of who I am and who I hope to become.

I’ve gotten older, and I feel truly blessed to be able to do so.

Here I go again.

♫ Post Title Soundtrack: George Michael - "Older"

Check out my swag yo, I walk like a ballplayer
No matter where you go, you are what you are, player
And you can try to change, but that’s just the top layer
Man, you was who you was ‘fore you got here
Only God can judge me, so I’m gone
Either love me or leave me alone
"Public Service Announcement" by Jay Z
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
Dr. Seuss

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